I sponsor people. My sponsor used to say. Get a sponsor and be a sponsor. In the early days, it was suggested that men sponsor men and women sponsor women. For many years, I followed that suggestion. Nowadays, I am not concerned with what pronoun you use to identify with. If you ask me to sponsor you and I have the time to sponsor you, then I will do it. The big book of Alcoholics Anonymous says that "having had the experience myself, [of doing the twelve steps] I can give them much practical advice. That's what I try to do.
I was sponsoring a women and we were starting to get through the steps. At one point, she dropped off my radar. I can't tell you her story, I only know one story - mine. I can tell you she was gone 4 months, and I learned at last that she was in the hospital. I went to visit her. I brought my wife who is also in the program and I brought a guy I was sponsoring.
When I entered the room I had been told she was in, I thought I was in the wrong room. She was in her mid-forties, but the frail woman on the hospital bed appeared to be in her eighties or nineties. As it turned out, it was her. I barely recognized her.
We talked and part of her story unfolded. According to her, she had almost died this time from overdosing on alcohol and drugs. At one point, she cried out to God to send someone looking for her. Luckily, her father found her in her apartment and got her some medical attention.
All I was able to do now was listen to her, hold her hand briefly, let her know that AA and I were there when she wanted to come back to meetings. She wept. At first, she cried in shame and embrassment, but when she saw that I was not judging her, her tears turned to tears of gratitude.
She told me that I always said to her, "You have to place recovery above everything, for without recovery you will lose everything." It is an indirect quote from our literature. She told me that she wished she had listened to me.
I wish I knew that all would be as it should be but I haven't seen her in a few days. I'm hoping to get in to see her again. I had left her a couple of grapevine magazines which I plan to read to her or with her, if she is still interested.
All three of us, myself, my wife, and the man I sponsor agree that but for the grace of God, that could be us lying in that bed.
