Geography Lesson

I was trying to remember where I was 17 years ago tonight. I'm pretty sure I was at a meeting listening to a bunch of oldtimers tell me I was making a mistake. I was getting ready for my big geographical cure. I'd met a girl online and I was going to move to the badlands of Wyoming to start a new life.

They said geographical cures don't work. They said no matter where you go there you are. They said the grass always looks greener until you get there and realize you are still here. Its just different grass.

You see I thought my problem was you but as it turned out my problem was me. So trying to change you doesn't change me and trying to change my surroundings doesn't change me either. Of course I nodded and said the things all new people say. But I know what I'm doing. Its not going to be the way it was. I'm different now. I know what I did wrong before.

What a crock of shit. I was drunk less than 12 hours after I left. And I stayed drunk for a while. And everything I touched turned to shit. Eventually I came back here and did what I should have done from the start.

I changed me. Sometimes I wish I could change you and sometimes I wish I could change the world and sometimes I wished I lived somewhere else or worked somewhere else. But I don't wish I was with someone else and I don't wish I was someone else.

Maybe it will all work out. Who knows. They say god knows. You could always ask him. Thy will not mine be done.