The reason your food gets cold.

My job is so exciting. A pizza delivery person shows up. To begin with, she comes in the exit driveway instead of the entrance. At first, I think it's someone trying to scoop a parking spot.

I grab Little Nellie and head out to investigate. Nellie is my flashlight and it's not little. It's about two feet long. It also can be used as an intruder submission device also known as a night stick.

I flash my high beams at her license plate and then on her. When I see the pizza boxes I know I can't give her a ticket. But I give her a polite warning about coming in the proper lane.

The driver claimed she couldn't tell if the lane she came in was an entrance or an exit. You would think the brightly painted arrows pointing in the other direction would have been her first clue. Or maybe the sign that indicates you are going the wrong way. But what do I know. I'm just a security guard on foot.

She comes in the foyer and stands at the security door, waiting I presumed for her customer. But no she was waiting for me to buzz her in. I explained that the customer needs to do it and she could use the intercom to contact them.

Oh that's a stupid rule. Their food is getting cold.

Well honey I don't make the stupid rules. I just enforce them. For all I know you could be in the wrong building. Now, contact your customer or leave.

So she tries to do that and can't connect to them using the three digit code they gave her. That makes sense since we use four digits here. She gets a funny look on her face.

Is this 5885?

I sigh. I point to the building number clearly displayed over the front door.

No. You're in the wrong building.

Well jeez you can't see that from the street!

Another sigh. Well it is clearly displayed on the side of the building. Maybe you should get over to 5885. Their food is getting cold.

That's probably my excitement for tonight.