October 27 - Honesty

Honesty is the word today so don't ask me if what you're wearing makes you look fat. I might have to lie. Of course, it's self-honesty I need to concern myself with. Like, is taking a drink really the best solution to my problem or is it just going to create more problems. And no, I don't even see that as an option. If I manage to stay sober one more month I'll have 22 years. Why would I stay sober that long only to throw it all away? I've seen it happen to others. I remember putting on a meeting in detox, and there was a fellow who had just celebrated 20 years, sitting on a bed with his head down, confused, probably trying to figure out how he wound up here.He believed the lie, that all that time away from liquor had somehow made him immune to alcohol. It's called alcoholism not alcoholwasm. All this time, my disease has been in the parking lot, doing pushups, waiting for me to let down my guard. Not today, Ray.

September 26 - Importance of Meetings

I usually go to a meeting on Thursday evenings. I  decided to stay home because my feet hurt. I have a condition so it's not just a sore muscle. I also have to work tomorrow, not a full day but long enough.

I used to sponsor a fellow who would often say to me, "I can't go to a meeting tonight because I have to work tomorrow." I never understood that, but I think subconsciously I just used that excuse.

Guess I'll be going to my meeting tonight.

September 23 - Help Others

Because I am active in a twelve step fellowship, I often equate helping others with twelfth step work, carrying the message of hope to those who might not know there's a way out. But, there are other ways to "help" others. I bake cookies and bring them to a meeting or a function. Members munch on the cookies and they talk amongst themselves. They like this kind of cookie or they don't like this type. They can't eat cookies because they are on a diet or worse, maybe they are diabetic. Whatever the case, they are talking to total strangers. This helps them come out of their shells. Or, I might be in a grocery store, and a senior might be trying to reach something on the top shelf. I might smile and reach up for the item, to give them help. Maybe the smile helps them more than the gesture of helping out. What few people realize is that by being able to help others, I myself am helped.

September 14 - Responsibility

My word for today is Responsibility. I always need to be aware of what my responsibilities are, but I also need to be aware that I cannot fulfill those responsibilities until I have at first taken care of myself. Even on an airplane, they teach you to take in your own oxygen first before you try to help someone else take in theirs.What I learn from that is that I cannot help others unless I first help myself.

I had an opportunity today to go and show my support for a well-known politician. But, I am not in good health and I should take care of myself first. Otherwise I shall not be of use to him or anyone else.So, he'll have to get along without me this time.

September 11 - Prayer and Meditation

My words for today are prayer and meditation. I'm not the pious type. You won't see me clutching a rosary or wearing an orange bathrobe while contemplating on the inner essence of a walnut. But, there is a passage in the Big Book, the book of Alcoholics Anonymous that describes what I attempt to do to improve my conscious contact with God as I understand God. It's on page 86:

"On awakening let us think about the twenty-four hours ahead [because all we really have is a daily reprieve, contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition - another good quote from the previous page]. We consider our plans for the day. Before we begin [reminds me of the slogan First Things First]we ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it [our thinking] be divorced from self-pity, dishonest, or self-seeking motives."

That's the use of prayer - making a request of God. As for meditation, keep reading. "In thinking about our day, we may face indecision. We may not be able to determine which course to take. Here we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or decision. [please God, show me what to do.]"

It's not rocket science. It doesn't require that I attend a school of theology. I ask a question. I wait for an answer. "We are often surprised how the right answers come after we have tried this for a while."

September 6 - Keep It Simple

The word I got from God today was a slogan - Keep It Simple. Upon awakening I consider my plans for the day. Before I begin I ask God to direct my thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest, or self-seeking motives. The rest of my day is thus kept simple.

March 12 - Selfishness

Word for today is Selfishness, one of my character defects to be sure. It has not magically disappeared despite my working the twelve steps. In Step Seven, I humbly asked the God of my understanding to remove my shortcomings such as He could or would under the conditions of the day I asked. So, on some days I am selfish, just as on other days it is dishonesty that I struggle with. Or fear. Or anger. Each day is different and at the end of each day, when I do my inventory, I merely make note of my difficulties for that day and strive to do better the following day.

February 15 - Live And Let Live

Live and Let Live is a powerful slogan. It is about Tolerance which the dictionary defines as "the readiness to allow others to think, believe, and act as they see fit". It doesn't mean I have to think, believe, and act as they do, I just have to recognize that they are where they are long enough until they can see where they are.

February 13 - Insanity

Insanity is often described as doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.

Insanity was once described to me as being in a twelve step program and not working the twelve steps.

February 12 - How Important Is It?

How Important Is It? "One definition of a bottom is the point when the last thing you lost or the next thing you are about to lose is more important to you than booze." BB, pg. 425 I once said that if you ever got in between me and my sobriety, there would be a fight and you would lose. Meaning, my sobriety is my top priority. Without it, I have nothing anyway