July 5 - But For The Grace Of God

But For The Grace of God, that's what I need to focus on today. I am not a puppet. God does not pull my strings and make me do things. He gives me choices to make and opportunities to act upon. What I do with what he offers me is up to me. Some people refer to that as free will. During that moment when I choose, that is the moment of god's grace. At least that's how I look at it. You might look at it another way. That's your choice.

It's ironic. later today, we are meeting up with the lady who is doing an article on us for a magazine. She wants a photo of us with the award we received for family volunteers of the year from the Province. Nancy thought we should have the photo taken down by the bridge I used to sleep under and would very likely have died under, had it not been for a choice I made many years ago during one such moment, during the grace of god.

Know what I mean. Jellybean.

Note: first printed July 5, 2016

March 13 - Tolerance.

The word God gave me was Tolerance. I used to think that referred to how much I could drink but I come to find it is the readiness to allow others to think, feel, and act as they see fit. I don't have to like it and I don't have to think, feel, or act the way they do. I just have to allow them to be where they're at and to accept that other people have other ideas about how life should be lived.

March 5 - Love

Love is the word for today. I can pass on lots of cool quotes about the word "love", because I've done lots of reading in my life. Love is attention without judgement. Love is an act of ancient recognition. I think those two are from Anam Cara (Soul Friend) by John O'Donohue. Father Martin once said that love was not so much two people gazing into each other's eyes as it was two people gazing in the same direction. Yep, I got lots of them. But if you really wanna know what love is, hang out with Nancy and me for awhile and witness it in action.

March 23 is 22 years since our first date. Just saying.

February 27 - Humility

I read somewhere or heard someplace that humility means just because I'm good at one thing it doesn't mean I'm better than anyone else. I don't know if I recalled that correctly. It's been a long time since I heard it or read it. What it says to me is that being humble doesn't mean I'm less than or greater than, I'm just more aware of who and what I am and that I have become this way by the grace of god. 

January 09 - Hope

When I awoke this morning, about 7 am, I did my morning exercising. I do a physical workout on my exercise bike, about 20 minutes, not bad for an old guy, and I do a mental and spiritual workout. I read from an AA book the Daily Reflections and from an Alanon book One Day At A Time. I meditate for a few minutes about the 24 hours ahead and then I pick a word or slogan from my god box. The word God gave me today was Hope.

I went to a meeting tonight and there was a newcomer there. It reminded me of my first meeting which was a long time ago. I recalled that at that time all I had left was a tiny bit of hope. I was a chronic alcoholic. To quote the Big Book, "quicksand stretched around me in all directions. I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was my master."

And yet, I continued to drink for almost 4 years during which time I learned the true nature of being powerless over alcohol until finally alcohol beat me into a state of reasonableness and I surrendered.

That was slightly more than 22 years ago. A lot has changed. Anytime I think alcohol might be a solution to a problem I have I just compare the last twenty four hours of my drinking to the last twenty four hours. The last twenty four hours wins every time. Know what I mean. Jellybean.