January 09 - Hope

When I awoke this morning, about 7 am, I did my morning exercising. I do a physical workout on my exercise bike, about 20 minutes, not bad for an old guy, and I do a mental and spiritual workout. I read from an AA book the Daily Reflections and from an Alanon book One Day At A Time. I meditate for a few minutes about the 24 hours ahead and then I pick a word or slogan from my god box. The word God gave me today was Hope.

I went to a meeting tonight and there was a newcomer there. It reminded me of my first meeting which was a long time ago. I recalled that at that time all I had left was a tiny bit of hope. I was a chronic alcoholic. To quote the Big Book, "quicksand stretched around me in all directions. I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was my master."

And yet, I continued to drink for almost 4 years during which time I learned the true nature of being powerless over alcohol until finally alcohol beat me into a state of reasonableness and I surrendered.

That was slightly more than 22 years ago. A lot has changed. Anytime I think alcohol might be a solution to a problem I have I just compare the last twenty four hours of my drinking to the last twenty four hours. The last twenty four hours wins every time. Know what I mean. Jellybean.