My thought for today is unmanageable. I had never noticed that there was such a word until I came into recovery and read the twelve steps. The first step says "We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable." Overwhelming and out of control are synonyms for unmanageable. My life was definitely that. My drinking was out of control to the point where I had no job, no place to live, no friends, my family wasn't speaking to me. That was the external unmanageability. There was also internal unmanageability such as my powerlessness over alcohol, wanting to stop but unable to do so. Recovery for me was not possible until I first admitted and accepted that my current way of living, thinking, and managing my existence was no longer working.
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