How To Let Your Teens Know

• Do not talk to your teens. This will let your teens know you are aware of the generation gap and that you have no intention of dragging them into conversations which interest adults and, therefore, could not possibly interest teens.

• Do not ask your teens questions about their life. Do not attempt to engage them in small talk. Do not ask about school. After all, teens spend most of their life chained to a desk, performing tasks that are of no interest to them, so that they may obtain a degree that will one day be of no use to them, and they have no wish to discuss the time they spend doing that when they are not doing it.

• The same applies to questions about summer jobs, hobbies, sports, friends, relationships, or any difficulties they may be having with any of the above. Avoiding these topics will let your teens know that you respect their boundaries and that you do not intend to confuse being a parent with being a friend.

• Wash their dishes. Do their laundry. Cook their meals. Tidy their rooms. This will let your teens know that you know how incredibly busy they must be with school, with summer jobs, with hobbies, sports, friends, relationships, and with any difficulties they may be having with any of the above. It will also let your teens know you are willing to do whatever is necessary to help them make the transition from being a busy teen to being a busy adult.

• If when tidying your teen’s room, you happen to stumble across any illegal substances such as marijuana plants, crack pipes, syringes, or stolen DVD players, try to remember that you are in their room without their permission, that they have rights guaranteed to them under the Constitution, and that you should not be messing with their stuff. If you leave these items untouched, this will let your teens know that you know you are in the wrong.

• It might be wise to set aside an emergency fund to cover the unexpected costs of fines or bail money should the police raid your home. If this does happen, be sure to leave a note for your teens informing them of the charges and how long you expect to be incarcerated so they will know when you will be back to cook and clean and tidy up their future messes.

• Do not attempt to discipline your teens. Do not impose any curfews or restrictions of any kind. Allow them to come and go as they please. This will teach your teens some of the freedoms they can expect to enjoy once they get a place of their own.

• Your teens may even decide that they already have a place of their own. This may encourage them to invite their friends to spend the night or have them move in completely. In this case, you might want to invest in a set of earplugs so that you will not be distracted by anything that is not your business anyway.

• Should your teens manage to graduate from school or even if they decide to drop out, do not pressure them to find work. This will let your teens know you are willing to let them take a year or two off in order to find their true selves. You might want to set aside another emergency fund should they decide to look for themselves in Third World Countries.

• Once your teens decide what they will do with the rest of their lives, they may wish to live in your home for another three to five years. Do not expect them to surrender any portion of their salary to pay rent, electricity, water, phone, internet, cable, transportation or groceries. This will let your teens know you are aware that they will have enough expenses to deal with (concerts, shopping sprees, pub crawls, body piercings, etc.). Also, you might wish to set aside another emergency fund in case they need a down payment on a house or an automobile.