Once, while going through steps eight and nine with a man I sponsored, when we got to the eighth step and it says, in the book, we made a list of the people who harmed us, we already have the list, we made it when we took inventory, the man said uh-oh. I asked him to please explain. He then told me that at another meeting he heard a guy with long term sobriety say that when he had done his fifth step, he burned his fourth step. I said so you burned your fourth step. He said no but I buried it under a tree in North Carolina. It reminds me that although members with long term sobriety sometimes say things that sound like something we should do, we should probably mention it to our sponsor before we do them.
Many years ago, before I had a sponsor and before I had actually read the book, the whole book, not just the parts I thought applied to me, I made amends to my first wife. I told her that I had been unfaithful to her and when she asked me with who, I told her. I don't know how much harm I did to her relationships with those women but I should not have mentioned them because I was trying to exonerate myself.
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